Normally when I go travelling, I make it a rule to ignore bad pick-up lines (and trust me, they abound). Herewith, in no particular order, are the Top Five Worst Pick-up Lines Personally Experienced by Me:
A) Somewhere in an Athens hostel. Population of room: two. Intrepid Traveler #1 hops off her top bunk at the crack of hungover, in an effort to at least attempt to do something with her day (circa like, 11am). Sounds of tooth-brushing.
Me: brush brush scrub
Canadian dude sleeping in the bottom bunk: “ugh, unh, vomit”.
Me: Christ, I know that kid got in at like, 7am, must suck ass.
CDBB: “soooo, can I ask you a question?”
CDBB: “so, do you like sex in the morning?”
Me: “uhh…. Sure.”
CDBB: gesturing to own bunk-bed: “Well get over here then.”
Me: “um.” Shoulda seen that one coming. As it were. Read the rest of this entry
Travelling with no possessions is really nice. I did this for about a month a couple years ago, completely against my will. I don’t normally take much shit with me anyway (a friend once asked how I pack so light and my answer was “pack everything you want to take, then put it all back in your dresser and take the empty bag”). I once actually allowed someone to cut the handle off my toothbrush before leaving on a trip cause we’d decided it was just wasting space. You only need the bristles anywho, right? But this time was much worse… Read the rest of this entry
For a number of years now, I have spent Christmas day either on a plane or in a non-Christian country. I find this entertaining; it causes my mother no end of aggravation. Last year was an exception, in that yeah, my bro and I ditched her early xmas morning (love you, Jarrod!), but we did manage to get ourselves to a severely Catholic country… Guatemala. Yes, yes, land of Mayans and murders. And people burned alive with flaming car tires. And drugs, and corruption, and blah blah blah. Turns out it’s also the land of “cheap way to get out of the States on Xmas day”, haha! Read the rest of this entry